Thanks for reading!
Any support, even just giving these posts a read, is always appreciated.
Recent Updates:
My short story “Voluntarily Mandated Training Seminar” was released for free last month. You can read it here.
BEYOND THE RUINED NIGHTS is now available for preorder. You can see the announcement here.
It’s available everywhere you buy your books.
Want my recommendation on where to preorder?
Get the Ebook here: Campfire
Get Paperback and Hardback here: Bookshop.org
Project Progress:
Obviously, publication for BEYOND THE RUINED NIGHTS is on track for AUGUST 16th. Full event announcements are coming next month, stay tuned.
I’m working through book 2, and I’m about halfway through.
Other projects are still on hold.
Recent Fascinations: The Growing Terror of the Light, or Why I’m Starting to Stress about August
Well, after last month’s rather somber tone change, I can at least say that this month’s entry will be back to talking about writing.
So, my book comes out in right around three months. It’s available for preorder, though I have yet to have anyone preorder it. That doesn’t necessarily come as a surprise, but it is a little disappointing. That, I think, sums up exactly where I am mentally about the upcoming release of my book.
Existentially terrified.
In recent weeks, as I’ve basically done everything that I can to prepare for my book coming out, I’ve found myself abjectly terrified of what will ACTUALLY HAPPEN when the damn thing comes out in August. Will my hopes come true and I’ll attain at least some degree of local celebrity for the release of my book? Will I sell out of books and have to cancel events because I can’t order enough fast enough? Or will the absolute worst case scenario happen, and across two months of events I don’t manage to sell more than a handful of books, with any reviews being bad ones?
I don’t know, I can’t know, and that’s driving me insane.
I don’t mean to sound like I’m doomsaying and having some major crisis of confidence. Instead, it’s more that, as time comes ever closer and the undeniable fact becomes that people will be reading my book, I don’t know how to handle that.
This feeling, this perpetual sense of growing terror of the light that is soon to be shone on my writing, is something that I don’t think I know how to handle. BEYOND THE RUINED NIGHTS isn’t perfect, I know that and have known it this entire time, but it is deeply personal. It is an examination of my own mental health struggles, an exploration of pieces of my past, an exploration of the divided ideologies I sometimes find myself existing within. It is also a look at my home, how I see it, and what it means to me. So, then, what if it’s hated? How can I be expected to handle that with any semblance of grace?
I don’t have an answer to that question, which to be fair is a kind of ridiculous hypothetical to even try and answer, but I do think it highlights where I am about the whole experience of publishing. I’m excited, I can’t wait for the book to come out, and I desperately want it to do well. But, the idea of people reading it makes me want to crawl in a hole and disappear.
The Growing Terror of the Light.
Thanks for reading.
